My Dad made us laugh.
My Mum died in 1984, when I was 10.
I don't remember much about her, but I do remember that she was a gentle, pleasant lady. (just like her Mum)
I also remember that she was quite a giggler. When she got a fit of the giggles, her face used to turn red, and she used to cover her face with her palm, and you could see her shoulders shaking from the giggling!
My dad died last year on May 2nd, almost 30 years after my Mum. Obviously we were all terribly sad to lose him, since he had played the role of both mother and father to us for all these years. He was an honourable man, kind, wise and warm hearted.
The days after his death and funeral were sad days at our home. As each of my siblings arrived in Bangalore for the funeral, the tears would start again, and the quiet sadness would envelope the whole house again. Somehow at the end of each day, we would all huddle up in my Dad's room and sit there and recall all the fun, happy times we had with him. Sometimes we were sad that it had all come to an end. But so often, we would end up laughing loudly, thinking of all the fun, happy and crazy times (and since my Dad lived in an apartment building) which was so not acceptable.
Then one of us had to remind the others that this is a house that is supposed to be mourning.
I do believe that my Dad and Mum were watching over us for those few days, coz I have never felt so close or happy with my siblings, like I did for those few days. I have not seen a 'funeral house' with so much laughing and happiness, ever. It is not that we were not sad about the fact that my Dad was gone, because we were.
It is something that cannot be explained - how we were all so close and so happy, laughing, joking and not letting the grief make us feel totally miserable.
My dad always said, "Cheer up, Cheer up" whenever we were low or bothered with something.
He was with us that day, making us laugh, making sure that we were all happy together.
I don't remember much about her, but I do remember that she was a gentle, pleasant lady. (just like her Mum)
I also remember that she was quite a giggler. When she got a fit of the giggles, her face used to turn red, and she used to cover her face with her palm, and you could see her shoulders shaking from the giggling!
My dad died last year on May 2nd, almost 30 years after my Mum. Obviously we were all terribly sad to lose him, since he had played the role of both mother and father to us for all these years. He was an honourable man, kind, wise and warm hearted.
The days after his death and funeral were sad days at our home. As each of my siblings arrived in Bangalore for the funeral, the tears would start again, and the quiet sadness would envelope the whole house again. Somehow at the end of each day, we would all huddle up in my Dad's room and sit there and recall all the fun, happy times we had with him. Sometimes we were sad that it had all come to an end. But so often, we would end up laughing loudly, thinking of all the fun, happy and crazy times (and since my Dad lived in an apartment building) which was so not acceptable.
Then one of us had to remind the others that this is a house that is supposed to be mourning.
I do believe that my Dad and Mum were watching over us for those few days, coz I have never felt so close or happy with my siblings, like I did for those few days. I have not seen a 'funeral house' with so much laughing and happiness, ever. It is not that we were not sad about the fact that my Dad was gone, because we were.
It is something that cannot be explained - how we were all so close and so happy, laughing, joking and not letting the grief make us feel totally miserable.
My dad always said, "Cheer up, Cheer up" whenever we were low or bothered with something.
He was with us that day, making us laugh, making sure that we were all happy together.
Dear Nic,
ReplyDeleteThat's a beautiful post and thank you for sharing such precious memories. My family is totally like that too and we would be shushed for laughing together during the mourning period in case the neighbours take it amiss. Ours was an old-fashioned independent house and my cousins and all of us siblings would be sitting outside remembering my father's antics. My older cousins who had seen him and loved him as their youngest and coolest Uncle had tales to tell. We'd be in splits and my aunts would come rushing out the house reminding us to be sombre. Laughing during the mourning is also a celebration of the person. It's part of the healing. Thanks again for sharing this...lots of love
This reminded me of my home...My papa. It brought tears too. They are watching over us... They do.Thank you for sharing this with me Nicola.
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