Reflections, Banter and the Honest Truth

While I am one of the most patient people that I know, I am extremely disorganised. This contributes to a bit of a mess around the house at times.  My sister, Maria (who is lovingly called Akka, by all the siblings) last visited me and my girls about six months ago and I think she was a bit shocked at the amount of unnecessary things that were in the house. From planks of wood lying in the loft, to pedestal fans that did not work, jars of ingredients in the kitchen which were probably used only once a year, to pans that were never used, and artificial flowers - something that I absolutely loathe.  I will make an exception for something that is beautiful and classy. Well, my wedding bouquet was artificial white poinsettias, because I love how beautifully the lady (Sandy) who made mine and my bridesmaid's bouquets does her arrangements, and they had to be brought from Sri Lanka. The fresh flowers would not have made it.   Well, in addition to all this we all had loads of clothes in o

 Looking back on my last 12 days with Gerard, I think of him lying on that bed in the ICU, intubated, with the ventilator, monitors and machines all around him, tubes in his nose and mouth, tapes stuck on his neck and his face, holding the tubes in place. The monitors beeping in the silent ICU. The smell of  medicines and  hand sanitisers, and on some days, a dialysis machine next to him, while I stood there and watched his blood flowing through the tubes. A blown up purple medical glove on his chest, to prop up all the paraphernalia that needed to be held in place. Doctors calling me into their rooms to give me updates and reports that I barely comprehended. He had to have the restraints removed from his hands to write things he wanted to tell me. The last time he probably smiled was when I spoke to him about our two girls and was imitating them, in the middle of the ICU.  When I told him that I loved him, he pursed his lips to give me a kiss, even with the breathing tube going into h